2012: Everything Isn't For Everybody

In our youth, elders encourage us not to follow the crowd, and to be ourselves. Somewhere in our adolescent years, we start to find our way, and make it a point to stand out from the rest, claiming our individuality. Yet, by the time we're adults, we've forgotten one important truth: everything isn't for everybody.

Dancing the Possibilities

Growing up, most of us have been taught that if you got married, had kids and made a lot of money, that collectively, they would bring you happiness, and thus classify you as successful. In fact, these same people believe that if you are "missing" any of these components, then you couldn't possibly be happy, and something is definitely wrong with you or your methods of achieving "success". Has anyone ever wondered who set these standards, or is it just me? I mean, can't you be rich, married with children, and not be happy at all?  Is it possible to be single, living comfortably without children and still be happy and successful? The truth is, any combination including or excluding any one of these components doesn't dictate how happy one should/could be, or how successful they really are. Somewhere along the way, we've allowed society to decide what should make us happy, and we've allowed them to set our standards measuring personal happiness and success. But society doesn't live with you. Society doesn't know what you want, or the things that would truly make you happy. The bigger problem however, is that you don't know what those things are either, because you've allowed society to decide that for you and those around you. 

Consider the idea that everything isn't for everyone. 

Why He Should Care About Her Biological Clock

Father Time and Mother Nature Pause For A Moment Of Silent Reflection

There seems to be a common idea among many men out there that they cannot build a serious relationship, get married, or have children until they are "ready". While I agree with this idea, it is my opinion that there are different levels of readiness. No one can really say exactly how much time it takes a man (or woman) to be ready for any of these particular life events. But often times, men equate readiness with financial stability, and a measured level of anxiety that comes (or doesn’t come) about, when any of these topics are brought up. Though I can appreciate a need for financial security, and the absence of anxiety, having it all does not have to be mutually exclusive. Let me explain.

Taking Chances

I'm stuck. I can't get out. The walls are closing in, and now I can't breath! I'm crying out to deaf ears, waving frantically before blind eyes. I don't know what to do. Nobody can help me...(but myself)

       That's often how I feel lately. This anxiety, this feeling of being stuck, compounded with feeling overwhelmed. Like I have so much to do, but I don't know where to start. There never seems to be enough time, and quite honestly, I am not even really sure what it is I should be doing, or what I want to be doing for that matter. Yet, I know that if I don't watch myself, my fears will get the best of me and keep me from being everything I know I could and should be. (Could this be my Quarter Life Crisis?) 

Scared,Unsure and Worried

 
       Fear is probably THE most paralyzing emotion ever. I'm no psychologist, but I'm pretty sure it is (or maybe it comes a close 2nd to grief?). Either way, in my humble opinion, it often times keeps people from what they want the most. Fears, both rational and irrational, can consume someone, crippling their entire being. People miss "once-in-a-lifetime" opportunities and events because of fears. Sadly no one is exempt; everyone has fears. The difference, I suppose, is how one confronts their fears to ultimately conquer them. (I'm still trying to figure that part out.)

The Modern Day Proverb 31 Woman

  DOES SHE EXIST?   

 

    This question was brought up by one of the members of a forum I participate in (s/o to Beautiful Minds!). If you're not familiar with what a "Proverb 31 Woman" is, you can look it up here. However, one of the members of the forum described the Modern Day Proverb 31 Woman as follows:

A Heart Made For Love Alone

       In life, there will always be a battle between good and evil. There will always be a choice  to be made. From the time we're born, those who raise us try to instill values that will help us decipher right from wrong throughout our lives . Everyday we are confronted with decisions that reflect upon our interpretation of those core values. To me, the most important of them all is love.

       I absolutely love my family and friends. Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I have a big heart. To me though, it is both a gift and a curse. The gift: the ability to have compassion for others who are struggling. The curse: the realization that there is only so much I can do to help. Most of the time, it's really not very difficult for me to put others before myself. Don't get me wrong, I am by no means destined for sainthood. I just find that it's harder for me to turn my back on someone if I can help them. I often joke with my mom about how I feel when I run into a beggar on the street. I always wonder if that is the one time Jesus would come to me and asked for change and I would deny Him, knowing that I have some loose change in my purse/pockets. (What would He say to me on Judgement day? "

Holding On...and Letting Go

     I’ve never been any good at letting go. One reason is due to my sentimentality. I still have birthday cards from my 1st birthday (I’m 31). I still have my 1st doll (she smells and looks good as new) and I still have some roses (now dried) that I got for my 16th birthday from a crush at the time. So yes, I’m a big sap!  However, the other reason I’m not big on letting go is from fear that something better may not come along or that I might need it someday, only to be disappointed when I remember that I got rid of it. Hence all the extra clothes and shoes in my closet...and even perhaps the extra people in my life. I think that often times, there are many reasons why people hold on to things, people,  and relationships that have long since ended or outlived their shelf-life. But like my mom always says, “...in life, there is a time for everything”; including a time to let go.

Ode to My Enabler

 

       In my opinion, everyone should have what I like to call an "enabler."  I think my enabler is probably the best thing that's happened to me (when he serves in this capacity).  In fact, now that I think about it, I've been lucky to have two in my lifetime ( okay, so maybe luck had nothing to do with it). 

Remembering My Dad

       I really don't need a holiday to remember my dad. There isn't a day that goes by, that his memory doesn't find its way into my thoughts...and I'm so happy for the memories.

       For as far back as I could recall, he's always been my favorite person, and I, his. This was always apparent when you observed the instant glow on our faces when we were together. I didn't know it then, but in retrospect, he was my best friend. Sometimes I wish I would have realized it sooner, but I hope that he knew. I think he did. From the time I could talk, to the last time I spoke to him, I've always told him just what was on my mind. I can't imagine what a 4 year old could say for hours on end, but he always listened with an attentive ear and a welcoming smile.

       Even when he scolded me, it was done with love, patience and understanding. I was never fearful of getting yelled at, or of getting in any type of major trouble with him. Nevertheless, I never wanted to disappoint him.

From A Distance

       I've known him for many years...kind of. I've never actually met him in person, but I'd like to think that we've developed a pretty good friendship through the years. We've gone from sharing stories of love and love gone awry; to personal trials and victories. I think at one time there might have been a physical attraction, but that was all set aside over time, and eventually grew into fondness and much respect.

       I still can't shake the fact that though I am always very happy to hear that his love life is going well, I can't help but to feel some type of way about it! Don't get me wrong, this is not a case of "fatal attraction" or anything close. I think it's more like admiration from afar mixed in with a little "I may have just lost my friend."  I always get a tug in the heart (the kind u get when u find out your ex is with someone new) when he tells me of the new belle in his life. I never show anything less than happiness and excitement, because it is genuinely how I feel.

What A Site! : OlioBoard.com

       Whether you are a professional home decorator, amateur looking to explore your creativity, or just a person like me who loves to change things in her home; Olioboard.com is sure to become one of your bookmarks. 

      

Why We’ll Never Be More Than Friends

       Connected almost instantly, conversation always flowing, lots of laughter, never a dull moment, complete understanding and utter respect; all components of a great romantic relationship, but also great components of a friendship meant to last.
 

       We’ve gotten to know each other really well. We often have similar thoughts, and pretty much know what the other is doing most of the time. It was like being in an undefined relationship. We both started out thinking it wouldn’t be more than a “good time”. But life took us for a loop, and the end result is a friendship unparalleled. We tell each other just about everything. We trust each other almost implicitly. There’s never any judgment passed, no matter what. Even when we argue, neither of us can stay angry at the other for too long, and the problem at hand is quickly resolved as we laugh through it. Not to mention that we are physically attracted to each other; which makes this all the more perplexing and quite difficult. So why can’t we ever be more than friends?

The End Of An Era and Afternoons As I Know Them

Guest Post By: Melissa B. (@Melis_B on Twitter)

       If you’d have told me thirty years ago that my soap operas, “All My Children” and “One Life To Live” would be cancelled during my lifetime, I would have slapped you in a manner fashioned by the iconic Erica Kane. You can imagine my dismay and devastation when ABC Daytime announced, on April 14, that both AMC and OLTL would be cancelled in September and January, respectively. The shows were created over forty years ago by Agnes Nixon. Come 2012, not only is Oprah off the air but two of my  ABC serial dramas are gone as well! What is one to do?

New Year’s Resolution REWIND

Just when you thought, you were too far into the new year, or you’d already cheated and you might as well give up, we’ve decided to offer up some solutions for a resolution rewind.

       If you remember saying that you would eat healthier and save money, perhaps one of your goals was to pack a lunch for work.  At some point you got sick of the turkey and cheese or the pb&j and went right on back to buying something on the fly.  This week thekitchn.com offers up an array of lunch choices including some variations you may have never even considered. Check it out.  This might just be the lunch time rewind you were looking for.

Cellular Couture

       Haute-Couture includes exclusive names in the fashion industry like Adeline André, Giorgio Armani, Jean-Paul Gauthier and Chanel. Though the term Couture has been used loosely in the industry, it should be noted that Haute-Couture is legally regulated in Paris, France by the Chambre de Commerce et D'Industrie de Paris.  They set the very strict guidelines which allow fashion lines to consider their fashions Haute-Couture.

       That being said, everyone loves couture. I mean there are hundreds of fashion magazines that prove this. From Vogue to W, Esquire to GQ, people always want the scoop on the latest fashion trends. It should also be noted that people love bling. Anything glittery that shimmers, will surely turn heads.  So why limit couture to clothes when you can dress your cell phone in couture that will surely catch someone's eye! 

Narrowing Down the List

       As a single woman I’m often asked, “Well, what type of man are you looking for?”  I think the implication is that I must be single because I’m looking for too much and my expectations are too high, or people assume that something is wrong  with me.

       I remember a few years ago my sister and I were on this kick where we were writing down everything we wanted in life and wishing it into future existence.  During one of our write-a-wish sessions, we each decided to come up with 100 things we wanted in a man. 

Lifestyles Defined

       If you have even the slightest interest in things like sports, automobiles,  technology, entertainment and even some of the hottest fashion trends out there, you should definitely check out 

  

Lifestyles Defined 

       From the trendsetting fashionista, to the enthusiastic gamer, Lifestyles Defined contains a  unique mix of content. With user-friendly navigation, short-to-the-point entries, and heart felt editorials (with contributors to include yours truly), Lifestyles Defined is sure to please everyone's palette!

The Cheesecake Factory: I Hate That I Love It!!!

       I don't think there's anything that I have tried at The Cheesecake Factory thus far that I didn't love. However, I think that the worst mistake anyone can make, is to look at the calorie count on any of the menu items. If you're watching your waistline, I also recommend that you stay away from the decadent deliciousness that the Cheesecake Factory offers. 

       The authors of the Eat This Not That Series have shared with us some of The Worst Restaurant Foods in America. On that list, the Cheesecake Factory has come in at:

          #19 - French Toast with Bacon

             2,494 calories; 71 g of Sat. Fat; 3,542 mg Sodium; 182 g Carbs

         #15 - Grilled Chicken and Avocado Club

            1,752 calories; 28g Sat. Fat; 2,309 Sodium, 85 g Carbs

        #12 - Kids Pasta with Alfredo 

         1803 calories; 86g of Sat. Fat; 876 mg Sodium; 70 g Carbs

        # 6  - Bistro Shrimp Pasta

        2,819 Calories; 77g Sat. Fat; 1008 mg Sodium; 184g Carbs

       Now let me just say, I have never ordered any of the items stated above. Nevertheless, one can conclude that The Cheesecake Factory does not spare any detail on the amazing creations on their menu.

My Dream Deferred

    When Langston Hughes asked “What happens to a dream deferred?” I’m quite sure he wasn’t speaking about my dream specifically. But I find that time has such an effect on how a dream may “...dry up like a raisin in the sun...”

      Almost a decade and a half ago, I was obsessing over the man I truly believed I would love and be in love with for the rest of my life.

Would You Vote For Donald Trump?

    If Donald Trump's rumored plans to run for President of the United States isn't random, then I don't know what is!!!

    See what Bill Cosby had to say on NBC's Today Show about this and about more important matters like cleaning up schools and neighborhoods.

Bill Cosby to Donald Trump: 'Run or Shut Up'

    Leave your comments and tell us what you think!

Click Here For More Randomness

When What You Get Is Not Quite What You Asked For

       So, you’ve been praying...asking for divine intervention. “Please, send me my prince charming” or “please, send me the woman of my dreams!” Then, suddenly, you meet someone. However, as you size them up, you think to yourself, “I know I asked for ‘the one’, but are you sure this is it?!!”

       I met this new guy, and at first we just stared at each other without uttering a word. I used to see him a couple days a week on my commute home, and there was no real interaction; just stolen glances, but no words.

Summertime: A Big Girl's Commitment Issues

     It’s the beginning of April, which means summer is quickly approaching! I live in the East, and I’ve noticed that some New Yorkers refuse to accept the fact that just because temperatures climb to the mid ‘60s and almost ‘70s, it doesn’t mean we can unpack the shorts and the open-toe sandals just yet! However, the warm temps come as some sort of awakening for foodies like me, who have spent most of the winter indoors, warmed by good comfort foods and maybe even unhealthy snacks, while watching movies or what we’ve saved on the DV-R.

    Thus, we have our dilemma..