Monday, December 12, 2011

Why He Should Care About Her Biological Clock

Father Time and Mother Nature Pause For A Moment Of Silent Reflection
There seems to be a common idea among many men out there that they cannot build a serious relationship, get married, or have children until they are "ready". While I agree with this idea, it is my opinion that there are different levels of readiness. No one can really say exactly how much time it takes a man (or woman) to be ready for any of these particular life events. But often times, men equate readiness with financial stability, and a measured level of anxiety that comes (or doesn’t come) about, when any of these topics are brought up. Though I can appreciate a need for financial security, and the absence of anxiety, having it all does not have to be mutually exclusive. Let me explain.

    I am always supportive of the hard working, goal-oriented man. That goes without question. The issue comes in when men, who've expressed the desire for a family, are so focused on their goals, that they lose sight of what it is they are building for. As some of you may know, I am a woman in my early thirties.  Every woman thirty and over knows that once you hit thirty, that biological clock ticks a little bit louder every  year that goes by. While men couldn’t possibly understand what that’s like, since they can basically procreate til they die, these men should understand that this clock is ticking on their dream too.

    There was a time when people didn’t necessarily focus on “being ready” for a family. Men and women fell in love freely, eventually got married, and had children soon after. A time when, men were the sole providers, and women were the caretakers. Times have indeed changed, but the eternal romantic in me is not sure whether it’s for the better. We seem to have lost sight of the fundamentals of love while trying get “ready”. No one wants to fall in love just to fall in love anymore. Everyone wants to be ready! But how can you prepare yourself for something you won’t allow to happen? I want to enlighten the fellas out there ( and some women too) and tell them that the dream isn’t theirs alone. You are no longer expected to be the sole provider. Women work now too, and we would happily share that responsibility with you if it were for the sake of building our dream, together. A man with an “incomplete plan” will always say he’s not ready, from fear of being distracted and led off course. What men fail to realize is that the woman they love, and hope to build a future with, (and who feels the exact same way about him) is their number one fan. A man wants financial stability, and so does a woman. Chances are, the woman he’s looking to build with is also building toward financial success. Why do it alone if you don’t have to? There will always be a level of anxiety when going into a new endeavor. That is to be expected. If you love and trust the one you are with, why turn away from the possibilities? No one is ever really ready for anything until it happens. You can plan it out a million different ways, and have five million contingency plans. Things will always happens as they should, and you just have to go with it, plan or no plan. So, wouldn’t you rather have someone you love and trust by your side as life's obstacles come your way?

    Everyone makes jokes about a woman’s biological clock, men and women alike. While women seem to be having babies later in life, the truth is, it gets harder (and more expensive) as time goes by. Besides, let’s face it... no one wants to be 80, chasing after toddlers and teens! Nevertheless, a woman’s biological clock isn’t just about having babies. It’s a reminder that time waits for no one. Which is why the men out there should know that, as long as her clock is ticking, so is the clock on what they’re working so hard for (if their goal is to build a family). Don’t let life and opportunity pass you by without looking up and around. Time is the one thing you can never get back. The longer you wait, the more you have to lose.

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